Reflections on Restriction

It's easy to demonize authority. From Walt Disney's "The Little Mermaid" to George Orwell's "1984", it's been rehashed with strikingly similar motifs time and time again. After all, this is something we've been wrestling with since we were two and Mom or Dad told us to eat our veggies. Now it's "Don't go outside.", "Wash your hands.", "Don't play with the other kids." — needless to say, it's got some of our inner terrible toddlers just a little riled up. We all long for personal freedom: the freedom to choose, the freedom to express, the freedom to pursue and explore our dreams and desires without restriction, or to simply create a life for ourselves without major interference. And yet, many of us are currently being confronted with a level of control and, let's face it, semi-totalitarianism that we've never personally experienced so far in our lifetime, even if it is for the good of the collective (and for those who have, I'm sure it isn't the best walk down memory lane either). Many have already inevitably begun to point the finger at the government, biological warfare, aliens ... I mean, is it just me, or is it starting to get a little hot in here?
"What was the relationship with my parents and primary caregivers like? What was my perception of them [...]?"
So, perhaps it's time to talk about where some of this might really be coming from. All conspiracy theories aside, it seems clear to me that the current circumstance is forcing everyone to explore, whether consciously or unconsciously, their personal relationship to rules and authority — which, at the fundamental level, breaks down to (no surprise here) the relationship to our parents and primary caregivers. This isn't exactly rocket science, but it might take a minute for us to stop the chain of reactivity and ask ourselves: What was the relationship with my parents and primary caregivers like? What was my perception of them and what emotional and behavioural patterns have developed within me since those formative years? How could I be projecting those experiences and patterns onto the current personal and political landscape? What might be triggering this process? And how could it be impacting the already over-saturated emotional climate? 

Granted, those are some pretty big, fundamental questions. It's not like you can just answer them overnight or in a sentence. However, it might help to first generally consider: when it comes to dealing with authority, do we either rebel or do we cling? People with a negative association with structure and control obviously tend to rebel, whereas those who find comfort and a sense of safety in predictability naturally tend to cling. We very well might even experience a combination of both within ourselves, swinging from one response to the other (something I'm finding to be particularly common right now), depending on the situation and which of our needs, freedom or security, we feel is being threatened the most. Because, the truth is, both are important to everyone, and it's not that one response or set of values is wrong and the other is right. What matters is finding the appropriate balance for every given situation, which itself is never really a static thing; the priorities simply shift continuously along with our changing circumstances, so there's only ever what is best for right now.   

Perhaps with that in mind, we'll be quicker to recognize when fear and other high-strung emotions lead us to form an intellectual bias about something and demonize, and also remember that we're all currently unpacking a lot of pretty old baggage and learning to deal with it as best as we are able. The government, our neighbours, and the people at the grocery store are not our parents (despite whatever else they might be guilty of) — but that doesn't mean that the hurt, frustration, or fear we're still carrying from our childhood and projecting still isn't valid; it's just been situationally displaced. So, the next time Tiny Tina happens to have a temper tantrum, maybe try showing her some love, as well as a cool head. Who knows ... it might just make a difference.   

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Inspired by Saturn in Aquarius. The planet Saturn rules Capricorn in astrology, representing the father archetype and often associated with structure, discipline and restriction; Aquarius is the sign directly following Capricorn, associated with independence, innovation and progressivism. Saturn entered Aquarius on March 22nd, 2020. 

 Photo credit: Monika Pot (via Unsplash)        

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